Read Like a Writer: The Hybrid Memoir
Here's a good one, "Hey Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing"
Two clients came to me recently with projects in the form known as “hybrid memoir.” Both books frame medical research around the author’s personal experience. One client relied too much on her personal story to educate readers on the underlying science, while the other nearly wrote herself out of the story. If you do either of these, you’re in good company. Especially in early drafts.
Sometimes watching a master at work is the best way to learn a new skill (like writing a book). Did you ever see a paint-by-numbers kit for The Last Supper and think it’s indistinguishable from daVinci’s original? Of course not. With that said, there are some best practices to pick up from reading the work of skilled writers. One of them is Emily Lynn Paulson, author of Hey Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing. The fact that Hey Hun is not a medical memoir removed any temptation for my clients to overlay their subjects directly on top of that book’s structure. Instead, they can focus on principles of good writing, good storytelling, and the best structure for the book. Another reason to read outside your topic is to prevent limiting your view of what you can do with your own story.
In Hey Hun, Paulson balances a sea of economic, psychological, legal, historical, and cultural research with her compelling personal experience as a (former) top producer for a multilevel marketing company (MLM) she names “Rejuvinat.” I seriously couldn’t put it down as she simultaneously climbed in to the “million-dollar” ranks of Rejuvinat and descended into chronic substance abuse (and a host of bad choices that left a mark on her and her family).
She weaves between scenes and exposition1 with grace and ease. Here’s a scene from the party she threw for herself when she earned a company-issued white Mercedes SUV. Watch how gracefully she goes from the party to MLM industry research, and then back again:
I look around at the party. There are close to a hundred women here, and the crowd reflects exactly the model Rejuvinat designed, one that caters to affluent white woman and almost no one else. They are carbon copies of each other, with the same well-styled hair, the same skinny jeans and dresses, the same four-inch heels or leather booties…Rejuvinat likes it this way. Sure, the Black and Latinx and Asian girls are in the marketing, but there is no Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) training or recruitment pushes into Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) communities…
If you look at the “Direct Selling in the United States” fact sheet put out by the Direct Selling Association (DSA—we will get to them later), it states that “Direct Selling Reflects America!” But when you look more closely, they separate out the Hispanic population to skew the data. In reality, 85 percent of the people in direct selling are white. Based on the US census, the entire US population is only 60 percent white. So, in theory, if “Direct Selling Reflects America” were accurate, I should be looking at a room of sixty white people, eighteen Hispanic people, five Asian people, Fifteen Black people, and a couple of Pacific Islanders, Native Hawaiians, or Native Americans…This party is a sea of white women, minus the women in the clearly staged marketing materials…
Later, she weaves out of the scene to share personal reflections, then back into the scene for a devastating chapter conclusion:
I get another glass of champagne, as it’s almost time for my coronation speech. I don’t remember much of what I say, because I’ve had more glasses of Veuve than I’ve had donuts, and I’ve had a lot of donuts, but I’m pretty sure it’s a stock hashtag speech about being blessed (as though God had bestowed this white SUV upon me) and about how hard I’ve worked (which is true, because I’ve never done so much busywork in my life) and how everyone in the room can one day achieve the same prize (even if, when I pause long enough to ruminate on what I’m doing, I doubt that’s actually true)…
That unsettling feeling that maybe I’m ignoring something really important is stronger than it’s ever been, but I’ve become adept at hiding my reservations and smiling for the camera and my adoring fans. I raise my glass and toast all the women in the room: “To ladybosses!”…I chug the rest of my glass, and as much as I wish I could tell you about the rest of the night, I can’t. I remember writing the check to the owner of the donut truck and him asking me how I will be getting home. I think I might have pointed to the car with the big red bow. I remember saying goodbye to Hannah who was also swaying in the wind. And I remember ripping that massive bow off and tossing it to the ground of the restaurant parking lot, before getting in my new Mercedes and driving home.
But what I really remember is seeing blue and red lights flashing behind me…I know immediately that I can’t call my husband. I wonder whether Hannah might still be up.
Specific scenes aside, there’s more to study in Hey Hun by looking at the overall structure of the book.
Paulson limits her use of flashbacks, sticking to an action-forward narrative. Chapter One starts with the day she accepted an invitation to meet a long-lost high school acquaintance from out of state who was in town “on business.” What she really needed was a reprieve from the grind of mothering five children, and some adult conversation over a glass of wine, but what she ends up getting is joining Rejuvinat, her friend’s “business.” She wakes up the next morning up to a jillion Facebook alerts congratulating her on joining the company, even though she hasn’t yet told her husband about the $500 she spent to do so. “My mom even sends me a text: ‘Did you really sign up for one of those Mary Kay thingies?’”
In Chapter Two, she documents her #bossbabe journey, which conforms to the BITE Model of cults and mind control2. She refers to BITE throughout the book:
Behavior control
Information control
Thought control
Emotional control
A model and acronym helped provide her with a “spine” for the expositional parts of the book. Not all books lend themselves to a ready-made model with an acronym, so you might devise one yourself. The first part of Hey Hun fuses Paulson’s own journey into the MLM, with the BITE model. After the DUI, she uses skills she gained from recovery to leave Rejuvinat.
In an MLM, you’re told to “do the hard thing.” …But as I’ve realized so many times in my life, the right thing and the hard thing can be the same thing. Having children. Fixing a marriage. Getting sober, and now, leaving Rejuvinat.
…I start shedding pieces of the “bossbabe” uniform I acquired over the years. I say goodbye to my hair extensions, and even stop covering my grays altogether. Part of it is facilitated by the pandemic and hair salons being closed, but I also feel like I am discovering myself again, the same way I did when the alcohol was stripped away…
For Paulson, leaving Rejuvinat was almost as difficult as leaving Hotel California, but she eventually broke free. In a postscript, she offers advice and resources to those who wish to do the same.
Client Feedback
One of my clients emailed me after reading Hey Hun with a few takeaways:
She sets a scene and then reflects/comments on it by addressing the reader and staying in the narrative the whole time. I got a lot out of how she handled the research part/quoting experts by how she explains directly how the research applies to the storyline to give the reader the info without getting bogged down.
She also maintains a consistent voice throughout while I am going in and out of "me" and "expert me." I need to just be me. I do it successfully in parts so I need to be consistent. She also takes her time a bit more to explain things. I think I tried to be too concise at times instead of comfortably talking with my reader and using phrases that she used like "I didn't realize it at the time..." or "I think about" or "I remember," so that she is not bound by a timeline and can move around a bit in time when needed instead of keeping a strict timeline as I tried to use.
Checklist for Hybrid Memoirs
Study a couple of well-regarded books in that form. Here’s a link with suggested titles. DO NOT focus exclusively on books covering your subjects as it may induce comparisonitis or limit your view of what you can do with your own book.
Map out the relationship between your story and the other subjects with this method:3
Break out a box of colored index cards.
Use one color to lay out your personal timeline.
Use a different color to map out where it makes the most sense to take the reader into subject matter. Place each subject card under the corresponding timeline card.
Does your research provide a ready-made model or acronym like BITE? If not, see if you can come up with one yourself, or in collaboration with your beta readers or editor.
Make a ton of lists that will help your readers find their way with the subject:
Books
Membership organizations with local chapters
Support groups
TED Talks and YouTube or Vimeo channels
Websites (legal, medical, consumer protection, etc.)
Movies and Documentaries
Podcasts
Communities of interest
Please keep the conversation going in the comments: books you recommend, tactics you’ve tried, or questions you may have. I’ll respond daily.
Exposition can include scientific research, historical context, and religious beliefs, among other things.
Formulated by Steven Hassan, a mental-health counselor.
This doesn’t have to be an outline for your book, but it will help you develop one.
Glen, thanks for letting me know you found value in my article. I’m so excited to hear about your project! Please let me know when you finish.
In case you haven’t seen it, here’s one about writing travel stories. https://open.substack.com/pub/tamelarich/p/how-to-write-a-good-travel-story?r=1eqv7a&utm_medium=ios
Dear Tamela,
I thoroughly enjoyed your article and found it to be both insightful and practical. As someone currently writing a travelogue-memoir about my experiences in China, I was particularly struck by your advice to read outside of one's own genre to prevent limiting the possibilities for one's own story.
This resonated with me because I have purposefully avoided reading other books about China while working on my memoir. My goal is to ensure that my voice and perspective shine through, uninfluenced by how others have portrayed their experiences in the country. By focusing on the principles of good writing and storytelling that can be gleaned from diverse works, as you suggest, I believe I can craft a more authentic and engaging narrative.
Your detailed analysis of "Hey Hun" provided an excellent case study in how to effectively balance personal experiences with research and exposition in a hybrid memoir. The excerpts you shared demonstrated Paulson's skill in gracefully navigating between scenes and background information, maintaining a consistent voice, and using a clear underlying structure to guide the reader through the complexities of her story.
I appreciate the practical tips you offered, such as mapping out the relationship between personal timeline and subject matter using color-coded index cards and developing lists of resources for readers. These strategies seem like valuable tools for organizing and enhancing a hybrid memoir.
Thank you for this thought-provoking and informative article. It has given me fresh perspectives and concrete techniques to apply as I continue working on my own book.